How I found out exactly what I want to do for the rest of my life

I’ll take you back to the beginning of 2021 where I was helping my best friend, who had a genius idea, starting his business and letting his idea come to life. It was around this time where I first dipped my toes into the marketing world. He taught me the basics, recommended books to read & people to follow, videos to watch, software to use etc.
But, at the time, because we were both busy hustling to make this happen and focusing on our enormous to do lists, I didn’t even realise how much I actually enjoyed doing all that marketing and branding stuff.
But today… I cannot possibly express to you guys how grateful I am to him for showing me all these things. If it wasn’t for him, I probably would have just walked by the doors that turned out to be the ones that led me to a life I just enjoy the fuck out of. Even now, where I am just starting out. I owe him so much, and I am not even sure he knows this.

Well, eventually, one day we decided it was best I take a step back from working together which I did (even though I didn’t quite want to) because I had a lot going on personally. Like I said, the work we did together filled me with joy in a way I hadn’t yet experienced. But that’s life. In any case, I think “breaking up” was essential for me to grow personally, because the following months taught me shit some people don’t get until later in life. And I am forever grateful for that too.

To begin with, while we were working together, I actually quit my full-time job. Best decision ever, by the way. But now I needed a new job to pay the bills. I started working as a security at night for like two months but I quit that too because it got boring and it just didn’t match my energy. I switched to working at a grocery store but like, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t challenge me either, but it pays the bills.
(the only thing this job challenges is my patience but I see this as an absolute win because my patience was one thing I would have had to work on anyway)
At the end of the day the jobs I hate doing but still do so I can afford life for now are part of the journey. With the end goal in mind, long-term vision, if you will, I can take the punches. But what I do to pay my bills doesn’t matter anyways. It’ll probably also change a few times before I am ready. It’s what I started doing beside those jobs what helped me ultimately discover what I want to do for the rest of my life.

So it started with me really missing everything I did for my best friends business. Going back unfortunately wasn’t an option at the time, so I just went “fuck it, I’ll just do it myself”-mode and within 2 months I got some certificate for social media marketing and shot my shot by founding an agency. I have had funny ideas like this in the past but something felt just right about this so I actually didn’t throw it all overboard after one minor inconvenience. While I was still studying for the certificate I started reaching out to small businesses in Austria and asked them if they wanted to work together on their marketing and told them if they’d be interested I’d do it for free. But, you guessed it, nobody answered.
Vanessa from like a year ago would have given up at that point. But Vanessa from today? Two words: No. way.
I kept looking for other businesses, for people, gifted with talent and brilliant ideas that I was desperate to support and I asked everyone I could find if they would be interested in working together. I wasn’t going to give up. And then it happened.

I sent this picture to a very close friend of mine after, within one day, 3 people at once agreed to listen to what I had to say. I was trying so hard not to cry because I did my make up before I looked at my phone. I failed after all, but who cares.

After two weeks I finally got someone to hear me out. Two weeks may sound like nothing, but it sure feels like something when you wake up every day, check your phone just to see that out of all the people you texted, nobody responded. Can you imagine how I felt when suddenly someone did? I was so happy!!! But make no mistake, that wasn’t the moment I knew for sure. What I will say though, those little to some but big for me moments were definitely building up to the one where I just knew.
See, I met a few people personally. Others I only had one call with. Still, each and every one of those people was uniquely special and so so sweet, talented, smart and interesting. I am still raving for everyone. I will be until the day I die. There was no call, no meeting no message that I didn’t end, leave or read without a big ass smile on my face. I couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. But it was.

Recently, a week ago actually, I had a very special meeting. At least to me it was. Someone was coming to Vienna from Graz which is a 2 hour drive. Even now as I am writing this I am like “Did that really happen or am I crazy?”. The fact that someone would do this for a 20 year old kid with no credibility but the fact that I am obsessed with what I do amazes me to the point where I question that it even happened. But it did!
That day, I met an absolute legend. I won’t go into crazy details but let’s just say the meeting was ultimately productive and I loved every aspect of it. She had goals and ideas and I could tell her how those could become real and we went over the steps we could take together to make it happen. We had limited time and I had so much more to give that I was sad when our time was up. The following days I spent transcribing our meeting, summarising what we discussed and so on. That was so much fun. I could spent hours at a café working on this and it didn’t even feel like I was working.
Even those, as happy as they made me feel, were only small moments building up to what I felt yesterday when I read Chrushing it! from Gary Vaynerchuck.

The day started with me calling in sick for work because I have a health situation going on and I needed a small surgery. So before my appointment I started reading the book. It was my first Gary Vee book, btw.

Right at the beginning of the book he wrote:

… those (entrepreneurs) at the pinnacle of both (financial success & influence) share 3 characteristics:

– A commitment to service
– A desire to provide value
– A love of teaching

P. 30 of Crushing it! – Gary Vaynerchuck

I don’t know why, but when I read that, I just knew. I could identify myself in in these lines like I couldn’t anywhere else. It was the confirmation I didn’t know I needed. Like, “See, this describes you. You have what it takes. Don’t worry.” I probably stared at this a few seconds before I started crying. Now, some of you might think “What are you crying about? This isn’t The Fault In Our Stars it’s a business book?” I understand, that some of you don’t understand. Let me try to explain this.

I knew deep inside me that I wanted to do, let’s call it “business stuff”, the second my best friend introduced me to it. My mind still orgasms with every new marketing secret I learn. I just think it’s fascinating. I want this so much I take punches daily that knock me to the fucking ground but I get up every. damn. time. I dare to say I even jump back up, eager to throw seven to eight punches back before I go down again just to repeat the whole process. But up until the point where I stumbled across these lines I wasn’t 100% sure I had what it takes. And that’s as honest as I can be. I just wasn’t sure if I had it in me. I was scared, unsure and holding myself back because I was at war with thoughts like “This is too good to be true, it’s never going to work out.”, “Who do I think I am I don’t know shit I have zero work experience.” or “I am a nobody. Not a single person on this planet will ever pay me to do this.” I was crippled by the fear, that it won’t work out and I’ll make a fool of myself trying. Scared of failure and scared I’d have to go back to working full-time at a complete shithole for the rest of my life. Those things were what kept me from being 100% in.
But what I realised the moment I read those lines was that I do, actually have it in me. What Page 30 gave me was simply the confidence to say:

“I might not have the fanciest education, my name doesn’t mean shit yet and I might not have 30 years and 127 projects of experience, but I sure do give a crap about this stuff. I love doing it, I love learning about it, I love sharing my knowledge and I love seeing others succeed and that’s all that matters. Anything else I’ll figure out along the way. So why not give it my all and embrace the fact that I could indeed fail, but it won’t be because I didn’t put my whole heart into this thing that I love doing so much.”

Right then and there I decided that, no matter what, I will be of service for others for the rest of my life. The 1% of me that was unable to commit to this idea, vision & goal because of something as pathetic as fear of failure was defeated in a matter of seconds. Thanks Gary & thank you best friend.

If you made it down here, I also want to thank you so much for your time. Let me know your. thoughts in the comment section. Is something holding you back at the moment?

The fact that I am about to launch this blog to share my story & journey makes me nervous but here goes nothing.

Sit back and enjoy the ride. Until next time! 🙂

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